A couple of months into the statewide lock down mandates, I pursued new career options as a photographer to survive. With limited options in this time, I jumped fully into real estate photography. The only problem was that once I got the hang of it, I realized how much I hated it.

I came home from a day of shooting and wanted to throw my camera out the window. I knew immediately, I needed to come up with a plan out of this real estate photography job quick. I couldn’t stand the idea of hating photography: it’s been a love, joy and passion of mine since the fifth grade. I called my mom and my best friends and said I’m out: This isn’t the opportunity for me. They all asked me why and I was quick to share all the things I learned about myself in that brief job:

I am a creative person. Honestly, before this job, I would tell people I’m a photographer and I run my own business. But after learning the robotic mechanics of real estate photography and shooting purely technical images, I felt like my mind and heart were being wasted. I am learning about and leaning into my creativity hard right now and my mind is lit with ideas. All I want to do right now is create. In the end, this job did not allow me to create anything or connect with anyone in a meaningful way. Now, I’ll take ownership of the adjective “creative.”

I have an entrepreneurial heart and that involves more risk than stability.

When I’m making a decision, I want to base it out of hope instead of fear. With the real estate photography job, I found that I pursued that job out of fear. While I made the best decision I could with the information I had at the time, the heart of my decision was based in fear. I’m learning how hope is a far better motivator for me and the place I want to make decisions from as I move forward.

I know when something’s not right and I’ve stayed in things far longer than I’ve needed to in the past. I’m learning to trust myself and my gut to make decisions, to speak my mind and heart, to ask for what I want and to go for it. It’s taken a long time to rebuild trust within myself because of past trauma and I think it’s a good thing to be able to trust myself again and I’m rolling with it.

I have more to offer the world. Taking pictures of three walls wasn’t it. I photographed a few of these opening  images on a night to celebrate the end of one thing and the beginning of another... I photographed these to play, to witness, to explore and so much was given to me just by showing up. And with that, my days as a real estate photographer were brief... two months... and a new dream began.